REMEMBERING MIRIAM
IN SHE STARRED IN A CONTROVERSIAL REALITY SHOW, BUT THAT APPEARANCE LED TO A SHOCK DOWNWARD SPIRAL
When Miriam Rivera first appeared on screen in her 2004 reality dating TV show, There’s Something About Miriam, her wide smile hid a secret that the six British male contestants – who were flown to a Spanish villa to win the heart of the 21-year-old Mexican model – knew nothing about. Viewers were quickly let in on the joke – Rivera was a transgender woman.
It was a shock twist that was only revealed to the guys in a dramatic finale when Rivera had whittled them down to one – Tom Rooke, a then-23-year-old lifeguard whom she hoped to sail off into the sunset with. If Rooke agreed to board the yacht with her for a private vacation, he’d be rewarded with a $20,000 prize.
“Tom, I really love spending time with you and kissing you,” Rivera began her confession on a sun-drenched balcony overlooking the ocean. “You see, I love men, and I love being a woman. But … shh, quiet everybody, please, quiet. But you see, Tom … I am not a woman. I was born as a man,” she explained as the other contestants laughed.
The dramatic conclusion to her search for love and acceptance was just the start of Rivera’s story. In the months – and years – that followed, she would go on a downward spiral that would ultimately lead to her untimely death in early 2019, at just 38.
Trans actress Trace Lysette is looking back at the life of her friend, examining Rivera’s rise to fame, public humiliation, and fall from grace in a six-part podcast series, Harsh Reality: The Story of Miriam Rivera. The series also explores the exploitative effect the show had on the trans community.
The early noughties ushered in the age of “cruel reality television”, where shock value meant everything – the more sex, drama and alcohol, the better! It wasn’t enough to just watch desperate hopefuls compete for love any longer on The Bachelor, which debuted in 2002. Shows needed to pack more of a punch to keep people glued to their couches.
“The bar had been set quite high for dating shows and we all thought, ‘What’s next?’” Sky TV executive Jo Pilkington, who commissioned There’s Something About Miriam, tells the podcast. “It was an exciting new idea, it was breaking new territory,” she explained.
When Rivera signed on to the show, she had hopes of becoming an actress or a rockstar. “She wanted to be famous,” says friend Lysette.
While Rooke initially agreed to go away with Rivera as “a friend”, he changed his mind off-camera. As soon as “cut” was called, the set descended into chaos as the men realised the extent of the ruse.
“I saw the cameraman lower his camera and then all craziness happened,” explained Toby Green, a then-23-year-old student who had been one of the men vying for Rivera’s affections. “[Runner-up Scott Gibson] absolutely exploded. The bouncers were just straight over the balcony.”
The bad press that followed the guys’ legal suit (see breakout) shattered Rivera’s dreams of stardom. At the height of her
“[Miriam] wanted to be famous” LYSETTE
popularity, the biggest break she could get was making a guest appearance on the fourth season of Big Brother Australia. Entering the house as Maria, she was again forced to hide her identity to see if the housemates could guess her “secret”.
“You have no idea what I went through, it’s not even funny,” Rivera told host Gretel Killeen before she entered the house. “But I’m a strong woman!” she added. A novelty on the party scene in Europe and the US, Rivera went on to develop a dependency on drugs. After falling from the fourth-story window of her apartment in New York City in 2007, she turned to prostitution to help pay her medical bills. She was found dead at her apartment in Mexico on February 5, 2019, suspected of committing suicide. Some family members maintain something more sinister took her life.
As the first transgender reality star, Rivera leaves behind a “complicated” legacy. While many saw the program as making fun of the trans community, others hailed Rivera as a “hero” for breaking barriers and appearing in the mainstream media. The people behind the program admit it “wouldn’t” be made in today’s climate. Rivera’s good looks also led to expectations of what trans women should look like. “[The show] put pressure and reinforced self-hate over my body image,” says trans activist Cecilia Gentili. “I wish I had the f--king balls to go into a f--king reality show and not disclose I was trans,” she adds of her admiration for Rivera.
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