Impactful Communication: Gwen Bortner Of Everyday Effectiveness On 5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator

Stay curious. Effective communicators remain curious and open to new ideas and perspectives, which helps in addressing a topic in a comprehensive and engaging manner. Curiosity drives you to ask questions that can uncover the heart of an issue or the unspoken thoughts of your audience. In business operations, we love our data. The problem is that data only tells us what happened. It can’t tell us why. Everything has a root cause, but it’s usually hiding. I make it a point to ask my clients open-ended questions that prompt them to think and articulate their business challenges.

In an age dominated by digital communication, the power of articulate and effective verbal communication cannot be understated. Whether it’s delivering a keynote address, leading a team meeting, or engaging in a one-on-one conversation, impactful speaking can open doors, inspire change, and create lasting impressions. But what truly sets apart an effective communicator? What techniques and nuances elevate a speech from mundane to memorable? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Gwen Bortner.

After more than 30 years in business, Gwen Bortner has seen workplace communications evolve dramatically. As the founder of Everyday Effectiveness, a business operations firm that advises impact-driven CEOs and executives, she also knows the high cost of ineffective communications. Whether a boutique consulting firm or sprawling college, clients seek out Gwen when they need support in getting everyone moving in the same direction to grow their business with efficiency.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about communication, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I started my career in information technology at a time when home computers were rare. Back then, people thought computers were miraculous inventions birthed from science fiction. In those early days, businesses — the innovative ones, at least — were looking to streamline their operations by automating tasks that were either time-intensive or vulnerable to human error. The problem, though, is they didn’t have the words to ask for what they needed. I quickly learned to listen to what executives wanted, to investigate what they actually needed, and then convert all of that into concrete tasks for the programmers. It was like translating a secret language, which opened doors for me in a variety of industries.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

As one of the few women in tech in the late 1980s and early ’90s, I advanced quickly in my career. I was pulled in at the last minute to save a consulting contract my firm had with the world’s largest distributor of bull semen. A sperm bank for the world’s most prized bovine genetic lines, the corporation had zero tolerance for error. And yet, the consultant assigned to the account made some big ones. With the threat of a lawsuit looming, I was sent in as the fixer. It’s not easy to show up to a client meeting already in the hole, so to speak, but I was willing to do what my predecessor wasn’t: Ask enough questions to uncover what the distributor really needed and then build out the appropriate IT solution to serve their present needs with capacity to support their future growth. I couldn’t save the budget or the deadline — the project wrapped up two years later than promised and came in hundreds of thousands of dollars over budget — but when it was finished, the client was thanking the executive team for sending me in to finish the job.

A few years later, I was the Vice President of IT for a competitive phone company. This was in the 1990s after an antitrust lawsuit led to the Bell System being dismantled into seven independent companies. The industry as a whole was under a public and regulatory microscope. But as a woman running the information technology department, I was a unicorn. It was rare to find women in the C-Suite back then, unless they were in charge of marketing. The public relations team paraded me around with the CEO. I wasn’t naïve. Though the work we were doing was newsworthy, I knew my gender was the only reason I was given such a public platform. If I’m honest, I’m still angry about it.

That role, and everything that came with it, led to a profound case of burnout. I needed a break and decided to take a year off to recover. During that time, I rediscovered my love of knitting. Something I hadn’t done much of since I went off to college in my teens. But because I don’t do anything in half-measures, that hobby year turned into a 14-year professional knitting career. I wasn’t the best knitter, but I found that the communication skills I developed in my IT career made me an expert-level instructor. I wrote a book for beginners on the entrelac technique, presented at international craft industry conferences, and traveled to more than 25 countries by teaching knitting classes to private tour groups on cruises.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. Bold — It sounds impressive to say I worked for General Mills’ information technology department early in my career. The fact, though, is my lack of experience in the field was a barrier. So, I gave the hiring manager an offer they couldn’t refuse: Give me chance, and if I fail, you won’t have to fire me. I’ll resign and I’ll find you a replacement. It was a long shot, but it paid off for both of us.
2. Perceptive — Every problem has a solution, but it’s not always what you think it is. I once worked with the owner of a high-end trade publication focused on sustainability. Despite being an industry leader with international distribution, the magazine was barely breaking even. I wasn’t the first consultant the CEO hired to solve her profitability issue, but I was the first one to listen. She seemed to be doing all the right things, so I knew we must be missing something. After asking a lot of questions, I discovered CEO was making investments without evaluating their effectiveness. By eliminating the distractions that kept her too busy to pay attention to what her business really needed, we were able to streamline her operations and make the business profitable while putting her in charge of mission-critical tasks she actually enjoyed.
3. Collaborative — There is no such thing as a self-made success story. I have no problem owning my wins or my losses, and I encourage my clients to do the same. However, I have never seen a business or business owner achieve their own definition of success without help along the way. I am proud of the businesses I’ve built over the years as both an entrepreneur and an executive, and I never forget that success came from decision-makers taking action based on my expert advice.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. How would you define an “Effective Communicator?” What are the characteristics of an effective communicator?

An effective communicator conveys information clearly and takes responsibility for being understood. They listen to their audience, adapting their style as needed, to ensure successful communication.

To accomplish this, they must be an enthusiastic listener. Not listening to respond, but seeking to understand. Rather than argue perspectives, lean into the lens by which others view the world and use their perspectives to reframe how you convey the information you’re sharing.

How can one tailor their communication style to different audiences or situations?

I think the first step is to be aware of your own preferences, understanding that others might have opposite preferences. Just because you like to be direct doesn’t mean others do, too. Your style isn’t better or more correct. It’s just different. Back to listening, you need to take responsibility for uncovering how they like to receive information and deliver it accordingly.

Can you provide an example of a time when you had to adapt your communication style to reach a particular audience successfully?

I adjust my communication style daily. I’m analytical and logical, pretty standard in the business operations field, but I attract creatives who rely on intuition to make their decisions. I can cite facts and figures at my clients all day long but if it doesn’t “feel right” to them, they won’t accept my counsel. I’ve spent years teaching business workshops at conferences in the craft industry. Early on, I realized people didn’t understand the mathematics of business. Although the math scared them, they were able to overcome their fear when they could understand how those numbers applied to their specific company, and the vision they had for it. Once they could see how their passion could come to life, they had context for why the numbers mattered.

How do you handle difficult or sensitive conversations while maintaining open and effective communication?

You can be empathetic without being emotional. When a hard conversation is needed, you have to divorce your emotion from the situation to approach it from a neutral state. Similarly, I separate the person I’m talking with from the actions or behaviors we need to discuss. Making a bad choice doesn’t make you a bad person. I find that when we can discuss the actions or behaviors objectively, we are both in a position to listen and understand one another. It’s not easy. They don’t call these conversations hard for nothing. But you can’t avoid hard conversations and move your business forward. And the best part of approaching these conversations from a neutral position is you can often preserve the relationship even if the outcome requires you to part ways professionally.

In your experience, how does storytelling play a role in impactful speaking? Why do you think stories are effective in communication?

Storytelling captivates your audience, drawing them into the tale you’re telling and making your message more engaging. It creates an emotional connection by evoking feelings and emotions. The audience can better relate to the information you’re sharing when it’s part of a shared experience. People understand poverty and its perils but when you talk about children wading through raw sewage to get home from school, they feel the weight of it in a visceral way.

As an operations strategist, my topics sound dry and boring to anyone without a technical or financial background. It’s easy for audience members who “don’t do numbers” to tune out. Storytelling is pivotal for me because it helps me provide context and real-world examples to what is often illustrated as line items in spreadsheets.

The other thing storytelling does is allow you to drop bold truths in front of an audience without offending them to the point they tune out. I could stand in front of a group of CEOs and tell them how their egos will fast-track their companies to bankruptcy, but would they be open to what I had to say? It’s more effective to share stories of CEOs who let ego get in the way of wise business decisions and let the audience decide if the stories apply to them or not. By sharing what went wrong and what changes would have achieved better outcomes, I give everyone in the audience practical advice to implement as appropriate.

In my line of work, we’re hard on the business but we take it easy on the people running the business because we know that most are doing the best they know how to do. The way I tell stories when speaking helps everyone in the audience feel that on a deep level. Not only does it connect me to the audience, but it connects the audience to the lessons within the stories. And because the stories stick with them long after we part ways, so do the lessons they’ve learned.

What are your “5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator”?

1. Care about your audience and your topic. Whether you’re speaking at a shareholder’s meeting, the staff picnic, or are keynoting a major conference, you have to find a way to care about your audience and your topic. I believe everyone deserves to enjoy the life they live, and they shouldn’t have to work more than 40 hours a week to afford the lifestyle that brings them joy. That belief allows me to care as deeply when talking to a room full of 7-figure business owners trying to make it to 8 figures as I do when addressing independent retailers. The problems that keep them up at night are different, but the solution lies in taking control of their business operations. And I know that when I show them the impact of intentional business design appropriate to their industry, they see a path they didn’t know existed, which gives them hope for the future.
2. Understand your own communication style and how it affects others. There is no shortage of assessments for personality type or communication style. Though each has their value, I’m a fan of TypeCoach. By using the aspects of personality that relate to communication styles, I find that TypeCoach does a great job of separating preferences from capacity. Visionaries and analytics can have rich, productive conversations when they understand the differences between their communications style and strive to meet each other’s needs. You can’t know everyone’s communication style in a large group, but you can educate yourself on what’s most common for your audience.
3. Focus on listening. The mistake often made when preparing to address an audience is to focus on what you believe they “need” to hear instead of what they want to understand. Active listening involves truly hearing what others are expressing, which can significantly adjust your message for the better. For instance, I recall a roundtable discussion where the initial topic was about scaling businesses, but through careful listening, I realized that the underlying concern was work-life balance. This insight allowed me to pivot the conversation toward creating efficient systems that support growth without compromising personal time, which resonated deeply with the attendees.
4. Assume positive intent. Communication can often break down due to misinterpretations or assuming negative intent in others’ words. Not only do we all have different preferences when it comes to communication style, we also filter information differently based on upbringing and life experience. Knowing that has dramatically changed how I choose to share and receive information. When we start from the belief that everyone is trying their best and wants the best possible outcome, even difficult conversations become more productive. Recently, I had a hard conversation with a store owner. She was always stressed out and anxious. She wasn’t enjoying her business and was becoming resentful. We had worked together long enough for her to know that even when my questions made her uncomfortable, they were rooted in my intention to provide her with the best direction in her business. So, I addressed the elephant in the room and asked her if it was time to sell. She didn’t take the question to mean I thought she was a bad CEO or not cut out for business, but instead, took it as an opportunity to explore options she hadn’t realized were possible.
5. Stay curious. Effective communicators remain curious and open to new ideas and perspectives, which helps in addressing a topic in a comprehensive and engaging manner. Curiosity drives you to ask questions that can uncover the heart of an issue or the unspoken thoughts of your audience. In business operations, we love our data. The problem is that data only tells us what happened. It can’t tell us why. Everything has a root cause, but it’s usually hiding. I make it a point to ask my clients open-ended questions that prompt them to think and articulate their business challenges.

How do you integrate non-verbal cues into your communication? Can you provide an example of its importance?

I use my whole body in communication. From facial expressions and gesturing, to how I move around a room, non-verbal cues reinforce the meaning of my words while indicating the emotion behind them. I can lean in to indicate interest in what you’re saying or to signal you that what I’m about to say is important. The way I use my hands can tell you whether I’m angry or ambivalent.

How has digital communication changed the way you convey your messages? Are there any specific challenges or advantages you’ve encountered?

Advances in digital communication and technology have made a huge impact on accessibility. We can overcome the barriers of geography and time zones thanks to Zoom, email, and instant messaging apps. And yet the ease of communication comes at a cost.

For example, the ability to effectively communicate over Zoom relies heavily on the technology at your disposal. Can you even count the number of times you’ve said or heard “you’re muted” during a conference call? Glitches are distracting even if everyone understands they are normal, and they come at a cost. I’ve been on too many online meetings that had to be cut short or rescheduled because key individuals couldn’t effectively participate due to tech challenges.

Speakers have to work especially hard to hold everyone’s attention in an online meeting or webinar because you don’t know what else is competing for attendees’ attention. Because I know it’s challenging, I always have my camera on when I’m participating on a call, and I visibly react to what the speaker says. As a speaker, I know how much that visual validation of attention and connection matters. Sadly, I’m usually the only participant doing so. For their part, speakers can make online meetings interactive and engaging. I vary between having participants contribute to the conversation using chat, polls or by unmuting to speak aloud. I also like using breakout rooms when small group discussion is appropriate.

The biggest issue, though, with digital communication is that it’s hard to convey tone in written messages. And without the benefit of tone, there is a lot of room for misinterpretation and misunderstanding. You see this in email, text and instant messages. When someone writes, “we need to talk,” your brain can go in 30 different directions determining whether that talk is going to be a good one or a bad one.

Public speaking is a common fear. What techniques or strategies do you recommend to manage and overcome stage fright?

Stage fright is normal. You might not believe it, but most professional speakers experience it. The difference is we’ve developed a routine to either leverage it or calm it. The best advice I’ve ever received is switch my focus from “what will the audience think of me?” to “how can I make this the best possible experience for the audience.” If you can get out of your own head, you naturally become less self-conscious. I make time to center myself before getting on a stage. I don’t need a lot of time, just a moment, but it makes a huge difference in how I feel when I’m on stage and how at ease I appear. I think it’s also important to connect with your body. Stage fright might make itself known to me through feelings of nausea or warmth. Other people start sweating or experience changes to their voice. I have a colleague, for instance, who gets high pitched when speaking while nervous. Knowing what stage fright feels like means you can avoid feeling panicked when those feelings emerge. The more you speak publicly, the easier it becomes. Rather than avoiding public speaking, embrace every opportunity that comes your way to practice.

What additional resources do you recommend for individuals looking to improve communication skills?

The best way to improve any skill is through practice. If you really want to improve your speaking skills, I recommend finding a Toastmasters club to join. It’s international, affordable and they make learning to speak and present fun and non-threatening. If you want to become a professional speaker, join the National Speakers Association. I’m on the board of the Northern California chapter, and can tell you the benefits aren’t just in the networking. I have learned so much by seeing other speakers in action and having discussions around how and why they do what they do.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I’d call my movement Context Matters. And I’d focus on empowering individuals to look beyond the surface and understand the deeper circumstances that influence actions and outcomes. Understanding and considering context is key to effective decision-making, problem-solving, and communication in every situation. One-size-fits-all solutions don’t fit anyone or any business.

How can our readers further follow you online?

I’d love to connect on LinkedIn or you can email me at gwen@everydayeffectiveness.com

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

About the Interviewer: Athalia Monae is a product creator, published author, entrepreneur, advocate for Feed Our Starving Children, contributing writer for Entrepreneur Media, and founder of Pouches By Alahta.