Dude Looks Like A Lady?
According to the BBC and the (Manchester) Guardian, the show, entitled either Find Me a Man or There’s Something About Miriam, featured six men, who were given a lineup of beautiful women and asked to pick the one that they found most attractive. All of them selected a South American beauty named Miriam (pictured above). Then, in typical reality dating show fashion, they competed to win her affections.
However, unknown to the men, Miriam wasn’t a woman. Instead, she was a preoperative transsexual — similar to Jaye Davidson in the 1994 movie The Crying Game. The show, produced by the Brighter Pictures subsidiary of Endemol, the huge Anglo-Dutch reality TV producer (Big Brother, Fear Factor), apparently was intended to be Endemol’s entry into the “reality-twist” genre that other reality producers have been mining, such as Stone Stanley’s The Joe Schmo Show, Rocket Science Laboratories’ Joe Millionaire, Doug Ross’ Boy Meets Boy, and all of the imitators up to the current NBC show Average Joe.
At the end of the show, when the men found out that the “gorgeous creature” Miriam wasn’t a gorgeous female, they went bonkers. One of the men, a Royal Marine, supposedly broke down crying from the “humiliation” when the deception was revealed … and, according to the articles, some of the production crew sympathised with the men’s reaction and turned on Endemol and British network BSkyB, a sister network to Fox in the U.S., which was planning to air the show.
- Would you be able to tell she was a man?
- Do you think the men were decieved?
- How would you feel if it was you who got played?
Its funny nowadays how you never know what type of women you really are going to meet. Do you think these men had the right to sue the Show they got played on?
...Camouflage Culture... 
December 13, 2008 at 7:43 am
holy shit i think i just threw up in my mouth. 1st off i would be pissed be on belief i wasted my time. Hopefully i was getting paid and fed to take time off work to do the show… o shit i just thought about this, what if in the show some of them kissed her/him/it….. AAAGGGHHH! this post need to be burned its just to fucked up…. i turned the crying game off when she came out of the bathroom and exposed her dick… i was scared of that moment for life
December 13, 2008 at 9:06 am
come on alamo you know you would hit that. lol
December 13, 2008 at 9:33 am
She’s absolutely beautiful. Some of the most gorgeous ‘women’ you’ll ever see are actually pre-op transsexual men.
To answer the questions asked:
No, just by looking at her I wouldn’t have been able to tell that she’s a man. Perhaps if I’d heard her speak, her voice might have given her away.
No, I don’t think the men were decieved. They were asked to pick the most attractive woman and they did. As a transsexual, Miriam will identify as female rather than male, despite what the gender on her birth certificate says.
If it was me that got played, I’d take it with a good sense or humour and realize that “gender” is a lot more involved that just what’s in your pants.
And yes, I would most certainly date her, regardless of how along the transitioning process she is.
December 13, 2008 at 10:32 am
Wow… I am all for equality and have many transgendered friends, but I cannot agree with what this show did at all. I truly feel a person is defined by how they act and feel and sometimes what is depicted on our outside does not represent the person we are on the inside. But deceiving is wrong. I’m not a guy so I can’t understand how it would feel to realize a woman you are dating is a man, but I would feel betrayed if I discovered my boyfriend used to be a girl. Yes, it SHOULDN’T matter because the person is still the same person no matter what, but you should be given the opportunity to digest the information that the person you’re dating used to be the opposite sex.
And on television!!! We need to draw the line somewhere. Not everyone is ok with homosexuality and cross dressing and this could be a physiologically damaging experience. I love my reality shows, but at least the people on the shows who are acting like idiots knew what they were signing up for. These poor men had no idea.
December 13, 2008 at 10:46 am
This one time, in jail, a dude named “El Conejo” told me and about a dozen other dudes how he had been involved in a gang shoot out while he had been high on angel dust, when a beautiful woman opened the door of her apartment and told him to come inside. She gave him shelter and opened up to him. Outside was death and chaos, and she gave him sanctuary. They had an instant connection. He said that she was the most caring and loving woman he had ever met, but when they started getting freaky, he noticed that her plumbing didn’t all seem to be quite in the right place. When he was face to face with it, he realized that she was a post-op transexual. When he said that, the tension in our little holding cell became palpable. We were all on the edge of our seats, waiting to hear what happened next. Then El Conejo looked around the room, making sure that he made eye contact with each one of us in the cell, and said that it was the best, most intimate, most meaningful sex he had ever had. As soon as he dropped that on us, the whole cell erupted. Every man in there patted Conejo on the back saying, “Hell yeah man! It’s what’s on the inside that counts man. That shit is beautiful”. I was only eighteen years old but that experience of hearing that story, in a nasty holding cell with a bunch of nasty dudes, stayed with me. There’s compassion and understanding in that story that I didn’t expect from a little holding cell in Santa Ana, California. I think that the rest of the world could use a little of that. If two people are able to connect on that kind of level, then God bless ’em. We should all be so lucky to find someone willing to give us shelter from the storm and love us for who we are. Go get it, and hold on tight when you find it.
December 13, 2008 at 1:58 pm
YEAH I KNOW ID HIT THAT! THATS THE PROBLEM! im so confused…
December 13, 2008 at 2:01 pm
but on a serious note… jklarson…. WTF ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT?!!?!?!?! can u keep ur jailbait, soap dropping stories to urself? this is a space for comments, not a space for jail house rape conffesionals
December 13, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Threatening isn’t it? That’s the point. It was a moment of honesty and vulnerability I didn’t expect and it touched me. If you’re alienated by it, you should stop to ask yourself why that makes you feel so insecure. You can appreciate someone else’s experience for the joy that it brought them without it making you a fag. Personally, I’d much rather people mistake me for being gay than for being a coward.
December 14, 2008 at 6:05 am
haha there is this show, kenny vs spenny where they compete against each other. anyway theres this one show where they compete on who could get laid the most. spenny being the sneaky son of bitch he is hires a guy to suck off kenny. try look it up on youtube, i think the show was called who could bone more women. on the flip side i remember watching something in anthropology. In japan these women would dress as men and be the male figure for their female customers. i guess what it comes down to is if the person tells their partner that they are not who they appear and if they are comfortable knowing they aren’t.
December 14, 2008 at 6:15 am
This is a pretty messed up show that i would definitely watch. As long as its not me right? Its more deception than anything that bothers me about this show. If this reality show is real, they are tricking heterosexual men into technically homosexual feelings or behavior. thats gotta scar your brain.
December 14, 2008 at 6:58 am
Deceiving is wrong?? And every other reality show isn’t based on deception? Infact, is the game of attracting one another and sex not all about deception?? What if they never told them that she was a man and they lived happily ever after- in love, with an amazing person..? as if that ever happens. In that case, would it be better, just because they are all happy. I agree there is something pretty strange about it- just the thought of being able to switch genders but with the abilities to create our own personas and alter anything else about ourselves- we can hide differences in the past and mostly all change our appearances so.. how different is changing genders? I don’t know, I am confused but a lot of the transgender people here are pretty tricky too.
December 14, 2008 at 7:26 am
to rafi- so you wouldnt feel any different if the person you are dating has the same sexual reproductive organ as you as long as you didn’t find out? that would work if you never had sex with them right. but in this case thats what the game is about. In the end they reveal that its actually a guy and what, are they supposed to keep their same feeling for the person they thought was something else. the feelings they had towards her were of her and then suddenly it changes to a him. how could you have the same feelings when they turn out to be not what you think?
December 14, 2008 at 7:38 am
I guess it depends on how you look at deception. I dont think the “game of attracting one another and sex” is really deception. Unless youre completely clueless, most people who go on a first date understand that their date will go through polite formalities and withold undesirable information, and so will they. This to me is more like date etiquette than deception. I know, that especially in america people are free to do as they please, whether its freedom of speech or freedom of gender. But, to me, something is just wrong with people changing the gender they were born with. I can’t back up my opinion very well, but its just how i feel.
December 14, 2008 at 8:07 am
The closest i got was dating lesbian. I was deceived from the beginning and had no clue until it was over but it was fun as hell.
December 14, 2008 at 8:12 am
i agree with jeffrah, its just the concept of a relationships. why would you want to continue a relationship if you knew they were of a different sex than you thought. the changing of gender seems very strange like changing your race or something. how could someone possibly feel so not themselves?
December 14, 2008 at 8:17 am
If she was a lesbian, what was she doing dating you? Did she think you were a girl bigdickdaddy?? Maybe that name is trying to compensate for some secret transgender life huh? and yeah japaneseperson.. I guess there would be a point when you could sense that the person wasn’t fully female- maybe missed an estrogen pill or something but I’d have to learn more about the science of it to be certain about just how much a persons chromosomal and physical gender affects how they are, their mind, and what they do. From everything I’ve read, it causes entirely different brain organization, reactions, and many other differences, but I suppose there are always exeptions. But, yeah with that- I think it would be hard not to tell after a certain point of truly paying enough attention to a person and getting to know them- not to realize!! Maybe you guys should leave the lights on or something
December 14, 2008 at 8:31 am
rafi- ok so once you come to the conclusion that the woman youre dating isnt a woman would you still continue?
December 14, 2008 at 8:37 am
As for this post, i am not so interested in the science of gender swapping as i am with the psychological damage that the contestants are left with. Gender swapping just seems wrong. Wear do you draw the line? what if, all of a sudden, a person claims they feel more like an insect than a person. Then start taking pills to morph them into insect people. this is a bit extreme but thats the point. When would it be too much? the same issue of freedom of choice is still involved.
December 14, 2008 at 9:36 am
I can’t believe that this is guy maybe she would look different in person but I have to agree with most of the people that have posted on this post. I think the main problem is how the contestants are going to have to deal with this. I remember there was another reality show before this one where a girl was looking for a man and it ended up that the girl used to be a guy and they asked the guy that she chose if he would still be with her after what he just found out. You could tell that the guy did nit want to accept but for the sake of television he said okay. I think this is bad because it does mess with people’s minds and the fact that they didn’t know if a lie which already puts the relationship already at the edge.
I don’t think this has anything to do with freedom because first off this show was not even made in the US which already gives them different rules from us. Also, I don’t think that they are putting the girl down it is just the fact that these men have a particular sex that they are attracted to and if they are lied to and are told that this girl who looks like a girl is an actual but is actually guy is a lie and would be very embarrassed if you went for something that you knew you would have never went for if you actually knew the truth about.
December 14, 2008 at 9:38 am
I can’t believe that this is guy maybe she would look different in person but I have to agree with most of the people that have posted on this post. I think the main problem is how the contestants are going to have to deal with this. I remember there was another reality show before this one where a girl was looking for a man and it ended up that the girl used to be a guy and they asked the guy that she chose if he would still be with her after what he just found out. You could tell that the guy did nit want to accept but for the sake of television he said okay. I think this is bad because it does mess with people’s minds and the fact that they didn’t know if a lie which already puts the relationship already at the edge.
I don’t think this has anything to do with freedom because first off this show was not even made in the US which already gives them different rules from us. Also, I don’t think that they are putting the girl down it is just the fact that these men have a particular sex that they are attracted to and if they are lied to and are told that this girl who looks like a girl is an actual but is actually guy is a lie and would be very embarrassed if you went for something that you knew you would have never went for if you actually knew the truth about.
December 14, 2008 at 6:41 pm
rafi- i got no complains so far, the name has nothing to do with the dick size since your so concerned. Shallow minds think as u do. Maybe the reason she was with me had something to do with wanting a child or maybe she saw something she wasn’t getting in females. Who knows, we still remain friends as do all my ex’s. Its all about being a gentleman and not someone seeking a womans body.
December 14, 2008 at 8:27 pm
I don’t think these guys are really going to sustain any lasting psychological damage. It’s a punch in the dick to be sure but maybe they’ll have a little better understanding of gender identity now. They’ll probably end up thinking, “Okay, she was hot and I was attracted to her but then I found out about the penis and the attraction vanished”. It doesn’t mean that they are somehow gay just because they felt attraction. She may not completely be a woman but she’s definitely not a guy. I don’t think anybody would have guessed this chick was a tranny. If the attraction continued or intensified after finding out, then there probably would be some psychological issues to sort out, or they could just realize that attraction isn’t right or wrong. It just is. In that case, they learned a valuable lesson about themselves and should be grateful.
December 15, 2008 at 12:45 am
I’m not too sure. That kind of blow could cause some of the men to become really homophobic just to show their peers and people around them that they aren’t gay. That’ll be damaging to homosexuals around those men and add extra anxiety to the mens’ lives that they’ve never had before. Some people are really adamant about being true to the male paired with female sexual preference and any sort of deviance from it is just horrifying to them.
But yes, I wouldn’t be able to tell that was a man. But I think hiding a penis is along the lines of hiding…like a VD or something. It’s just something you really should be upfront about from the start.
I remember a scene from Trainspotting where that skinny vicious guy was making out with some chick he picked up in a club only to find out she was a man. He was so pissed. He would have killed his good friend if he had agitated him enough. That’s the kind of effect this kind of thing would have on some people.
December 15, 2008 at 10:22 am
I agree that this type of thing should be brought up in the very beginning because this is a serious issue that the other person should know about. That isn’t an issue as simple as an old girlfriend or boyfriend. I just don’t think that someone should ever lie about something like that it was a big part of that person’s life and the other should know about it as well. I also, do think that this could cause damage on a person if that person were to hook up with someone and actually fall for someone that they find out later was not telling the truth and was lying about who they use to be the entire time.
December 15, 2008 at 10:31 am
The lying factor would definitely take a toll on the relationship. I mean if a person can’t even be honest about their sexuality, what else are they keeping from you?
But honestly, I would probably watch this show, or at least catch glimpses at it. It would definitely be entertaining. I think a lot of people would enjoy it to, and find it funny. We are sadistic people, laughing the the expense of a bunch of mens’ dignity. It is a clever scheme, but is too extreme for a reality show and probably should be kept to sitcom humor or something.
December 17, 2008 at 7:36 am
I would be so pissed off if this happened to me. It is a little bit funny but not really if you think about it. I dont think that it is a good thing to promote this kind of thing being done on tv.
December 17, 2008 at 8:32 pm
That was utterly deceiving. I have no problem with transsexuals who gave good personalities, however the only ones that I have met in person are usually stuck up and attention whores. Transsexuals are potholes in the road of society. Where do they formally fit in a world where it was strictly male and female? It makes you wonder if they’re ever going to change the “Sex” section on forms you fill out.
To answer your questions,
No, I wasn’t able to tell if she was a man. The fact that I can’t is actually horrible. You will never know for sure until you hit rock bottom?
The show definitely deceived the viewers and men on the show. It is very interesting to mess with people’s sexuality. It shows how much they value getting such a prize woman based on looks.
I would be laughing at first but then would realize to myself that maybe I was just in it for the hot bod. Heh. It’s a TV show that’ll give you exposure!
December 20, 2008 at 5:32 am
The underlining thing is that this is totally deceiving and it is as if they are going behind the contestants backs and in a way it makes them come across as if they are stupid because when you watch and you know the secret you are constantly thinking about why the contestants don’t know. So these shows are making the contestants look stupid and idiotic.
December 20, 2008 at 5:51 am
I wonder if in the contract the contestants were made to sign it had in fine print something like “You may or may not have intimate relations with a member of your own sex, ” in the middle of a bunch of boring other text. Then after all the contestants complained, the contracts that they signed are just waved in front of their faces. But that would be completely uncool.